My Love Named Cheese
by FlaminkoMage
Summary: Plagg narrates his century-old love story with his beloved; Cheese.


My first love was Cheddar.

She knew me in and out. Thick and thin. When our mouths touched, we were in heaven.

It really was a love worth remembering. Honestly, I can't even believe she was to stoop as low as to calling me... "Just a cat." Like I mean, who in the name of cheese does that? I loved her, she loved me, we were purrfect!

But then she got jealous of my chosen, a super cute teen girl who couldn't get enough of me. She used to feed me mozzarella all the time.

Big mistake.

My second love was mozzarella. Three cheese points on how that started. Going once... going twice... aww boo hoo hoo you lost! Get over it.

Mozzy and I did everything together. Our kisses were a thousand times better than mine and Cheddy's.

Though I have to admit, her taste wasn't as nice as I imagined... I broke up with her weeks after our relationship started, and started dating a much better gal; Cheddar Jack.

Sure, my old cheesefriend Cheddar was way jealous about my snuggles with her cousin... but please sister, you had your chance. Move on like your old pal Plaggilicious.

But then Jackie ditched me for some blonde doofus who I really don't have the patience and time to remember. I took one good look at him- he didn't have whiskers. So, being the smart kwami I am, I kindly waved my face in her's and politely mentioned that she was gonna miss this gorgeous hunk of (two strands). No biggie.

Anyway, once Jackie and I were through, a shy little girl in my cheese collection spoke up once. Of course, at that point I didn't take it very seriously. She was always complaining about something or the other. I think her name was Parmesan or something. Meh.

Parmesan is the kind of cheese you _really_ don't wanna mess with. Sure, she seems inviting and kind at first... but nuh-uh-uh. No way am I ever making the mistake of being with a snobby two-face like that. After she showed her true colors, I knew she had to go.

Now, there was this other girl, and hoo damn she was definitely a sight for sore eyes. String Cheese was amazing, she used to pet me, cuddle me, touch me, ahh those wonderful days. I loved laying back on a sandy beach with her besides me... our paws connecting like we were soulmates. Fu always told me, "No Plagg! Stop paying attention to cheese when Tikki needs your help!" Uh... psshh no she doesn't! Fu, you're just jealous that you didn't catch a fine mate like String Cheese before me. Ha! In yo' face!

Okay okay, so maybe String Cheese wasn't the... _smartest_ of cheeses I've met in my day. All she cared about was kissing kissing kissing! Sure, I loved eating her bite by bite, but she soon got salty and I got washed out. Ew... gross. Even my chosen disrespected it. Eating her by _pulling her at the side_. Get a room, woman.

After I got a new chosen later on, the boy introduced me to a fine lady named Monterey Jack. Sure, one of her relatives was Cheddar Jack, but I had long forgotten about that cheating scoundrel.

But turns out, sometimes blood relatives have a somewhat similar personality.

Once I found out Monterey was going out with another cheese behind my fur, I blew up in her face and broke up with her.

I wish I hadn't though... she tasted _amazing_.

Whatever... she's long gone. After centuries, I found another, much better companion.

Ricotta was a fine woman. She cared for me, and I honestly thought she was the one... not until I had a bit of her when my chosen needed to transform. Turns out Ricotta doesn't really suit my belly very well... and I became sick and had to go to Master Fu for a few days.

Fu never let me hear the end of that one...

Knowing I had no choice, I had to break up with her... and boy was it hard. Her body drooped and I swear I saw little droplets of water run down her figure. She truly was heartbroken, and I kinda was too.

But that didn't last for very long, since I soon found a much better mate. Feta Cheese.

Feta... at first we didn't get along very well. But as the saying goes, the more they fight, the more they love. Ahh Feta soon changed her colors and we became the best of pals. Her taste was delicious, and I could never get enough of her. Yumm...

Well, turns out my new chosen was allergic. So that didn't last very long.

After we were through, I got ahold of yet another amazing cheese named Cottage Cheese.

Cottage was beautiful, kind and sweet. But I guess my laziness kinda got the best of me. She expected me to _help_ her, or whatever that means. This cat was not made for helping, he was made for eating and sleeping. Could she not see that? What a waste of time.

I broke up with her days after we got together. It was worth it though.

My next cheesefriend was a fine lady named Brie. I loved her to death, but my chosen didn't. Seriously Fu, pick some better heroes for once.

My chosen decided to make me eat _bread_ with Brie. I mean... what. Just... what. How can you... I just... Brie tasted better on her own! Our kisses were like heaven! But with bread... well, everything just started to go downhill after that disaster. Thanks a lot, selfish Chosen. You screwed up real big.

After that, he had to put up a pretty big fight if he wanted to transform or anything.

My next chosen, a young high school boy, didn't really like cheese. His mother though, loved only one type, and forced him to eat it.

Camembert.

The boy didn't like Camembert, so he always gave her to me...

And oh man.

Oh man oh man oh man.

When I first laid my eyes on that beauty, my heart stopped.

Her perfect figure.

Her beautiful complexion.

She was... amazing in every possible way.

And she still is, to this day.

Ah, I love her so much. And I never did stop.

Our kisses are like heaven. In fact... I'm pretty sure we were a _match_ made in heaven!

Every next chosen of mine hated how I practically oozed for Camembert. Heh, like I care. If they want to transform, you better feed me up baby!

Adrien Agreste, my current chosen, absolutely hates the fact that all I want to eat is Camembert. Pshh, the way he pines after Ladybug all the time, it's safe to say he knows exactly how I feel about her.

Except my love for Camembert is probably ten times more real than his for Ladybug. They don't even know who they are! Dense doofuses.

Ah, my love, Camembert.

I love you so much my Camembert.

My Camembert, you make my life complete.

You're amazing, my Camembert.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

BAhAAHHAaaHAHa I laughed wayyy too hard. XDD

This was originally written as a joke for a group of friends, but I just had to make it better than that! My friend, NorthernLights8 suggested this, and hahaha I loved the idea!

Plagg x Cheese = OTP XDD

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed~!


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